I'm thankful 2016 only has less than six more weeks to go. I'm less thankful that immediately after 2016 will come 2017.
I'm thankful the same mob of rent-seekers and power-fellaters I desperately wanted to be rid of a year ago is in place now to (hopefully) keep Trump in check.
I'm thankful Hillary Clinton's political ambitions appear at last to have been ended. Something tells me Bill is too. I expect him to turn up appearing haler and more energetic soon, after a few Waffle House breakfasts and steakhouse dinners. He'll have earned them.
I'm thankful it hasn't been made mandatory to watch or listen to presidential speeches; if it were, my year's liquor budget would have been spent before St. Patrick's Day.
I'm also thankful for all those maudlin, Frank Capra reasons everybody else is saying today. But you already knew that. Saps.