Friday, December 25, 2015

How the Grinch Went to Prison

Dr. Seuss's tale brought warm feelings and laughter,
But what he didn't tell you is what happened after:

When the Grinch brought back Christmas that singular year,
He was welcomed by the Whos with forgiveness and cheer.
But when he came to Whoville the following season
He felt a bit let down, and not without reason.
For as a prodigal celebrant he'd been the center of attention,
But as just another guest he barely rated a mention.
And being a Grinch, well, he took it quite badly.
"They're taking me for granted," he realized sadly.

"Last year I was honored, toasted and regaled,
But now I see my hopes of acceptance are failed.
I've been a good neighbor since last December,"
He grinched to himself in a simmering temper.
As a fuming wallflower he watched Who girls and boys
And recalled how he hated their clamor and noise.
Slipping away he returned to his cave
For the peace and quiet he once again craved
And vowed that the Whos, the tall and the small,
Would regret this next Christmas -- "I'll show them all!"

And what do you think the grumpy Grinch did
When a single year later, back Christmas slid?
Why, he repeated his hijinks of just two winters past,
And then brought all the packages back to Whoville fast.
But this time the Whos' patience had been overtested
And as soon as the Grinch arrived, they had him arrested.

At the trial his lawyer Horton strenuously stressed
That testimony of the first theft ought to be suppressed.
"He wasn't convicted! No charges were filed!"
"Only because all the Whos were beguiled,
We thought him rehabilitated, but he had us fooled!"
That was enough for Judge Who-dy: "Objection overruled."

The elephant turned to his client, bereft.
"I'm out of ideas, that's all I had left."
The jury came back with a verdict quick
"Fifty years," sentenced the judge, "That should do the trick."
And so the Who court's rules evidentiary
Doomed the Grinch to the Who penitentiary.

"I'm sorry," said Horton as the Grinch sat aghast.
"In real life nobody can outrun the past.
'Forgive and forget' means they'll put it behind them,
But only if you don't contrive to remind them."

The Grinch erupted, "You blame this on me!?
The Whos are the bad guys here, can't you see?
While I acted like them I was just tolerated,
But if I follow my nature I'm instantly hated!
So send me to prison! Let the iron doors clang!
In fifty years I'll be back with a gang!"


  1. Moral: Forgiveness without correction isn't kindness.

  2. wishing we could do this Jim Carey and not see him for 50 years. ;-)

  3. Unfortunately, archvillains escape from prison all the time.